Day 4

Today has been an emotional day. God is bringing up a lot of things in my heart that are painful to deal with. I am thankful though for the Word preached faithfully this morning, my personal reading this afternoon, and the reminder of Christ's work of redemption on the cross tonight. He sealed forgiveness with His blood and remains faithful even when I see waves and not Him.

Day 3

Impatience is my name and disorder is my game. Well, that is how I feel when I consider all the things that I can and would like to share with you about what God is doing through this commitment. It is difficult for me to recognize that I am going to be doing this for 365 days and so I do not have to expel every thought and idea and concern that goes through my head to you in this blog. That would be annoying and extremely confusing neither of which glorify God. So, I need to remember I can take this one day, one subject at a time. There will be another day to talk about that other subject, Lord willing.

When I sit down to worship God on my own I am often overwhelmed with everything that I have to do during the rest of the day. Today for example, I had to force myself to stop in the middle of a project, knowing that it and the next project (dishes) would not be finished until late in the afternoon, in order to take advantage of the quiet due to fewer children. My window of opportunity was slim but I reminded myself that the most important thing needs to be MOST IMPORTANT. Sitting down I pulled out my Bible, journal, and a small pad of paper and a pen. The pad of paper was for those tasks that I would suddenly remember as I began to read the first few words of Joshua 19. I start with writing "Pick up living room, do dishes" then I set the paper aside to wait for the next task to threaten to steal my allegiance. This is critical for me. It is my way of saying, "you are not my master!" If I don't write them down though I will fret the rest of my time over whether or not I will remember to add conditioner to my grocery list. Who can worship God when they are fretting about conditioner? I know it sounds silly but the simplest things will lure me from the precious Words of God that reveal Himself to me.

What distracts you from personal worship of God? Do you already know? How have you solved past problems of distraction? If you don't know why personal worship is difficult ask God to show you what distracts you. It is a difficult question to ask. Difficult because He will answer it and you may not want to know that answer.

Day 2

Today was fairly easy. With the added pressure of knowing the "world" was watching I was able to chose to wait until nap time to sit down and read and pray today. I say chose because I debated in my head all last night and this morning if I should try and get this done first thing in the morning or wait until nap time when I knew that I would be feeling the need for renewal. Being at home with four kids 7 and under brings out selfishness, impatience, and harsh words and today was no exception. By nap time I had already corrected the children many times and corrected myself by asking for forgiveness. Renewal and grace sounded beautiful, however I think that from now on I will attempt to "seek first His Kingdom." (perhaps I will find the need and desire to seek him more then once in a day)

In January I started reading through the Bible in a year...on someone else's ambitious plan. I don't have to tell you that I am not on track to finish December 31 BUT I have continued on a similar format on a much slower pace and am loving it. Today I read Joshua 18, Psalm 87, and Acts 8. It has been exciting and fascinating to see the connections throughout the entirety of Scripture. To sum up, it all points to Jesus and when reading the New Testament with the Old Testament it becomes all that more clear. I love the Word and how He gives illumination!

On a convicting note, Simon the magician is a huge warning to my heart. Lord, may I never forget how deep and sinful sin is and how a depraved heart can twist even the desire for good things.

Day 1

There is nothing very special about today. It is not the beginning of anything but a change of my heart. I am tired. I am tired of feeling afraid, stressed, worried, guilty...you name it! There is only one answer to those feelings that too often lead to sinful actions: Jesus Christ. I need to recognize that I do not know Him like I should. I also need to recognize that I am sinful and need help to spend time in the Word, getting to know my Savior. I have far too many reasons and excuses to find other things to lead me astray. I do not want to do that anymore. If I say that I believe the Bible and it says in Deuteronomy 8:3 "And he humbled you and let you hunger...that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." then I should live as though I believe this, hungering for the Word and feeding myself, everyday!

If you haven't guessed yet, I am making a commitment to spend time in the Word everyday for the next year and to blog about it. I am fearful even as I write this.

• What if I can't do this? It is hard enough to write this first blog.
• What if you see my commitment and feel burdened and then it becomes some legalistic law you become bound to? or that I become bound to?
• What if I become proud because people like what I write?
• What if God isn't impressed by my devotion and doesn't change my life into perfection?

NO MORE! I want to know Christ! I do not want to be enslaved any longer to fears and doubt and worry. No more excuses. If I can feed my kids food-I can make time to feed myself the Bread of Life. If I can check Facebook-then I have time to read a chapter of the Living and Active Word of God. If I have time to put clothes on-I have time to be transformed by the renewal of my mind.

My point is that even if I don't have time to even get dressed, that's ok if my priorities are where they should be, with my heart and my mind focused on the Giver and Sustainer of Life. If we all have to pick laundry out of a crumpled pile on the couch, my family may overlook it if I my mouth overflows with wisdom and kindness. I know that I will fail and so I am sharing with this small world my desire and commitment to seek first His kingdom. If you don't see a blog...ask me why. I am sure I will have a reason...and it will be a pathetic excuse of putting something else before the worship and adoration of my King and then I will fall on grace again.

Lord hear my prayer:
Psalm 86
A Prayer of David.
1 Incline your ear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Preserve my life, for I am godly;
save your servant, who trusts in you—you are my God.
3 Be gracious to me, O Lord,
for to you do I cry all the day.
4 Gladden the soul of your servant,
for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
5 For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving,
abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.
6 Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer;
listen to my plea for grace.
7 In the day of my trouble I call upon you,
for you answer me.

 8 There is none like you among the gods, O Lord,
nor are there any works like yours.
9 All the nations you have made shall come
and worship before you, O Lord,
and shall glorify your name.
10 For you are great and do wondrous things;
you alone are God.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD,
that I may walk in your truth;
unite my heart to fear your name.
12I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,
and I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your steadfast love toward me;
you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.

14O God, insolent men have risen up against me;
a band of ruthless men seeks my life,
and they do not set you before them.
15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me;
give your strength to your servant,
and save the son of your maidservant.
17 Show me a sign of your favor,
that those who hate me may see and be put to shame
because you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

Mmmm, Comfort Food

I have a reputation for cooking well.  There are a lot of factors that go into that reputation.

One is that my grandmother is AMAZING.  She can cook or bake anything.  When I was very young she had a small business out of her kitchen. Then when I was a teenager she made the rolls that the sandwiches were made on at a local deli.  Oh my! They were so good!  Now she makes food for her family and the church and anyone else who may need something homemade from "Grandma".

Two, is that I own Mastering the Art of French Cooking. When I received this cookbook last year for my birthday, I sat down and started reading it.  I know that sounds a little strange but seriously, there is so much information and instruction in this cookbook that just reading the introduction increased my skills and abilities.  It is a wonderful book.

The finally reason that contributes to this reputation is that I love food and I love making food for others.  At family gatherings I volunteer to make something...usually difficult and elaborate.  One year family was coming in for Thanksgiving and since everyone was in a hotel no one was able to contribute to preparing the meal therefore catering was brought up as an option.  I was willing to do it all myself just so that we could enjoy the pleasures of homemade food together.

The funny thing is, I don't think that I have any special talent or gift in this area.  Many of my creations BOMB! Boo's birthday cupcakes were made twice because the first time flopped so badly.  I have even burned a frozen pizza. For 8 years of marriage I have wanted to be able to make a roast that was moist and tender and full of flavor.  Tonight, I actually accomplished that goal.

It was a risk to begin with because when my family doesn't like a meal it is a lot of unwanted food.  Yes, they have to eat what we give them but often times they would rather go hungry then eat dry-over cooked beef, too spicy chili, or whatever else flopped for dinner.  The pork roast had been on sale though and potatoes and onions are cheap.  I was also reminded by my DH that I had the resources and the desire to figure out HOW to make something better. I guess I had never taken the time to actually do it.

I pulled up Google and asked "how to make the best pork roast."  My short study taught me about brining, why to do it and why not to, and cuts.  I pulled out my pork and saw that it was a three pound shoulder...no need to brine.

Next I turned to Julia and French cooking. Hot fat to brown all the sides, after drying the roast of course.  If you have seen the movie, know that drying really does make all the difference.  Anyway, a few cloves of garlic, salt and pepper and a tea bag of bay, thyme, and parsley and it all went into the oven in a cast iron dutch oven at 350 degrees for one hour.  While that was cooking I blanched the potatoes and onions and then browned them in butter...oh, I love butter!

At this moment I realized that I had too much time before dinner to keep cooking at 350 degrees.  I lowered the temp to 200 and poured in the onions, potatoes and butter. Back into the oven it all went and I started basting every 45 minutes.  The result was...not amazing...but it was good!  The satisfying ending to a cozy, cool, rainy day.

I Think I'm Back

Let's try this again. It is birthday season and soon Christmas will start. I am in full "planning" mode for what to make and I have completed some projects. My problem, trying to get pictures of them so I can show you. I will do better! It has not been an entire year since I last posted so that is a little encouraging but two posts a year is not a very good record. Again, I will do better!

My niece celebrated her first birthday a couple of weeks ago. They live on the other side of the country so we were not able to be there HOWEVER I was able to get Boo to model her wonderful present...legwarmers. Yes, they are all the rage these days and so easy to crochet. http://hooked-on-crochet.blogspot.com/2008/01/livie-legs-free-original-pattern.html This is the pattern that I used and I am now trying to adapt them for older children and using different yarn and stripes and all that fun personalizations.

There is more to follow since Boo had a birthday and I made some different legwarmers for her. Stay tuned...be patient...I will get there.

Enjoy!

Days Like Today

James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds."

Days like today make it difficult to consider my trials joy. I know that we all have them but seriously when you are in the midst of them they feel unreal. As if at some point you will wake up or someone will jump out of nowhere and yell, "just kidding." But no, today was real.

It never starts well when you wake up and realize it is at least a half hour later then you thought and an hour later then you had hoped. The day started out late. By the end of breakfast I had forbade two of my children from saying another word until all of their food was eaten. A half hour of incessant nonsense from a three year old and a five year old is too much to handle at 7:30 in the morning.

By 9 am a list of school work was written for Christian, a movie was playing for Daniel, Betsy was in bed and Tobie was "doing school." A quick breath and I was in the shower. It was interrupted by Christian explaining that he let in a stranger because he recognized her from church and she was only dropping off a package. Followed by a conversation about letting people into the house while Mommy was not available. Within minutes the shower ended amidst screams of pain from Tobie. Christian had pulled her from the chair and she fell on her hip.

Wait a minute! Why was Christian in the living room watching TV and not doing schoolwork?

I decided that in order to help Christian focus I would clean my room while he worked on school at the desk in my room. Yes, a great idea. Until the phone rang, GG came over to say hi, and it quickly became 10:00. Tobie and Daniel's internal clock went off, it was snack time.

Snack, check and back to work. I finish cleaning my room but evidently it didn't help Christian since it is now 11:15, the movie is over and he is still on item number two of his school list. Tobie joins us in the room and proceeds to pull out everything I have just put away in my room. She is working hard on Christmas presents. Sigh.

I pull out a puzzle just for Daniel while Tobie sews. The baby is up and while she sips on a cup of milk, I start lunch. The dishes are piling up and the noise, oh the noise. Do they ever stop talking? Do they ever stop demanding things? When is nap time? When does my mom get home?

Lunch is over and I hear a knock at the door. Help has arrived? Well, help with the car. The van battery is dead and the pastor is here to charge it for me. Great! But tell me, when will I have time to clean this place up, bundle the children (it's been snowing all day), and get out of here? I guess getting out will just have to wait.

Twenty minutes later I go back into the house. The car is better and parked at GG's house to stay warm during the storm. The phone rings again. It's my brother. We talk a little as I try to put away a few things here and there. By the time I have to stop to spank another child he says he'll let me go to deal with things. I go deal.

It's quiet, a disaster, but quiet. Christian has finally shut himself in the room and is focusing on school. Better late then never I guess. It's one o'clock and I call my mom. When are coming home? I don't think I can take another crisis and I want to know when I need this place cleaned up by. Oh good, she's on her way.

Wait, what are you doing Betsy? Where did you get that toilet paper? I follow her into the bathroom. Nice! Someone has used the toilet (#1 and #2) without flushing and Betsy is now using the toilet paper to blow her nose. I start the bath after yelling at the children. Good thing Betsy likes baths.

Who can I call? Grandma GG. She says that Christian and Tobie can come over to her house. Why didn't I think of this before? Calmly I call the kids into the bathroom. I apologize for losing my perspective and not counting it joy. They forgive me, too quickly it seems. I put each one of them in charge of a particular toy to clean up and they are off, cheerfully getting ready for naps and GG's house.

An hour later the two eldest are at GG's house, Daniel is taking a nap, my room is clean, the dishes are done, and I have repented. My mom calls. She's really on her way now. :)