God and migraines

It always surprises me, shocks me, saddens me how much my body can affect my thinking and attitude. I don't mean just a little either. I suffer from terrible migraines. (we are doing what we can to address the issue) Yesterday the morning began with one of these migraines and continued throughout the day. It was horrible. I do not remember clearly what went on yesterday but I do remember losing my temper with the kids. I barked at them throughout school time. They were disciplined more quickly and harshly. I repented often and at one time even told the kids that I was forgetting that God's plan for the day was better then my plan. Of course I meant that in reference to the spilled water and not about the stabbing pain in my head. When evening came around I fell asleep on the couch while the kids entertained themselves playing their favorite computer game. When I woke up I crawled to the shower and asked the older two to put the younger two to bed for me. While in the shower I was convicted about my terrible judgment and bad attitude towards others who go through chronic pain and are selfish, angry, and joyless because of it. I don't mean that they should be given a pass, being able to sin because of their pain BUT they should be given extra grace and patience and PRAYER. It is extremely difficult. The night was long and this morning there was still residual pain but much less.

Here is the good news though: God blessed! My two oldest children folded all the clothes for me after they put the babies to bed. They forgave my sins from the day before. I was able to garden, a very theraputic and healing activity, all morning with the kids. The best blessing was the call from the Holy Spirit in the afternoon. I was feeling pretty good and very motivated to catch up. The kids were sleeping or reading quietly so I saw this as my opportunity to get ahead and I went at it but then I remembered this was my opportunity to be with my Lord. It was hard to stop...I was on a roll...I literally had to tell myself, "put down what you are doing and walk away, pick up the Bible and just read," but I did it.

He still called me, even after a terrible, failure of a day, He wanted to love me through my family and especially through His Word. It is a humbling and encouraging reminder of His grace and love that He still calls, still pursues when I have messed up so badly. Of course the truth is, even on my best day, I fail Him and He still calls me to be with Him.

^" but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
 "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" Romans 8:1

He brings us in and then He keeps us!