Day 6

I have got to be honest. There are a few...ok there are a lot of people who have hurt me deeply, but there are a few that seem more difficult to forgive then others. Somehow there keep coming up situations or interactions reminding me of that pain. I would like to reconcile with them but for whatever reason they don't know they have hurt me or they are not in a position spiritually/emotionally to reconcile or we are not in contact anymore for unrelated reasons and the hurt just comes up in my heart and head from time to time, regardless the fact is it hurts and somehow I have to leave it at the cross.

These last few days I have been wondering how to tell you how I have solved this problem but the truth is, I haven't solved it. Let me clarify, I haven't solved it in a way that makes it all go away. I haven't figured out how to learn this lesson one time and never have to deal with this struggle again. I have been reading my Bible and searching for the "magic verse" that changes my heart, makes the pain go away and then I could share with you if you just read it and believe it will do the same for you. I haven't found that verse....because it doesn't exist. There is good news though! There is something better: judgment! That sin that so deeply hurt me, will be paid for! God promises that in Romans 6:23 when he says, "For the wages of sin is death..." That sin that so deeply hurt me, also hurt God and it was an offense so great to Him that someone will die. Whose death will pay for that sin? Either the persons, or Jesus Christs.

Now I could leave it there and this truth would be comforting for awhile but Romans 6:23 continues "...but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Sometimes, the people who hurt me, who sin against me, are believers who have been given forgiveness from Christ. Here is where the vile confession comes: I want to rip that gift from them! I want to punish them and so say, "Jesus' death was enough for my sins, but should not be enough for yours."

Let that sink in for a moment.

It humbles me. That desire to take Christ's gift from them and instead cause them more pain reminds me that I am still a wretched sinner in need of grace. I am guilty too. My sin's wage is death too. I am not righteous, Christ is. I have been forgiven so much more then is being asked of me to forgive. Only when I am overwhelmed by the grace shown to me can I show grace to others.