Who is against you?

Wrong thinking is so difficult to correct. Even when I have come to a conclusion that truth is truth my old way of thinking creeps in and I have to remind myself...this is wrong. Today was yet another example of this.

Last night was a little rough. Coughing children and a sick husband made for difficult sleep. There have been worse nights but when morning came we concluded that letting everyone sleep in would be better then struggling through the normal routine...which includes Bible study. I would rather do that well later then force myself to stay awake, trying to re-read things to understand and feeling frustrated the whole time all because "that's the way I always do it." Anyway, breakfast, school, lunch, a new toy (a trampoline that needed cleaning) and a beautiful 80 degree day and by 2:30 the house is a mess of dirt, dishes and school stuff. I put the girls in bed for a nap while the middle two are outside jumping and then the battle begins. It is quiet in here. It is cool in here. It is a MESS in here. I stare at the dishes. I stare at the floor. I stare at the garden that needs weeding. I stare at my to do list. Reluctantly I turn away from it all and take my Bible and sit down on the couch. Before I even open it I wonder to myself at the anxiety that is welling up in my heart. I cry out in my head, "THERE'S TOO MUCH TO DO."

Then I opened my Bible and had a great time with the Lord.

Um, no, not quite. I started off reading Acts 2 and 3. I don't remember what I read. My heart was filled with frustration at feeling like everything else was more important then spending time listening to God from His Word. I had to council myself that this was more important then anything and that there is enough time to clean up. It only really matters to me and there is no one telling me it has to be done this very second. I may not want to do it later but isn't that part of living a self-sacrificing life? Yes, all that while I was reading the Bible. Then I was frustrated because I wasn't paying attention to what I was reading.

This is where God started to work. I moved on to 1 Samuel 18. I noticed some very interesting things. David was being attacked. Saul was jealous of him. The king was jealous of David and was trying to make him suffer. As I think about Davids life this was a recurring theme...battles, jealousy, suffering, enemies. AND YET...the Lord was with David. I moved on to Psalm 140 after this. A psalm of David pleading for deliverance from his enemies. More suffering, more battles, more people seeking to destroy him and yet David sought the Lord in it all for his salvation and the Lord granted it, the Lord was with him.

God is amazing. He knows how to take a person like me, who feels like the world is against me. It seems on most days that all of life's chores and responsibilities are too much and that even trying to do the right thing is impossible. I give into the temptation to think that not only is the world against me but God is against me too. After all, He knows that I want to obey Him, please Him, do what is right and still life is so difficult...therefore He is against me!??! Then I see David and I am reminded that suffering does not mean God is against me. The Lord was with David and see how desperately and continually He needed the Lord, pleaded with the Lord and relied on the Lord.

He is not against me. He wants me to need Him, plead with Him, rely on Him. David was not perfect but by God's grace he got one thing right. He knew WHO to plead with, WHO to rely on, WHO would redeem him. I do too and through Jesus Christ, He is with me and for me.


What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Romans 8:31-32