Helen's Thoughts after the True Woman Conference--Part 1

Saturday morning I woke up at 6:30 and finished packing my bags to go back home. I was exhausted but I didn’t mind. I was still charged up about the wonderful day before at the True Woman conference (www.truewoman.com). It had been a hard day of confessing some very ugly sins but also a day of great joy at the forgiveness I am blessed to have through Jesus Christ. I didn’t mind at all that I had three flights and two very long lay-overs that spanned the next 12 hours. I peacefully said good-bye to my mom and sister, knowing I would see them again in just two short months, bought a cup of coffee, and boarded the first flight.

The flight was fairly empty so I set Betsy up in her car seat next to me and pulled out one of the books I had bought at the conference. “Brokenness” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I read through the introduction slowly, stopping after every other paragraph to think and to pray. I couldn’t understand my reaction. Despite the amazing conference I was bothered by something all week and I couldn’t put my finger on it until now. In this book an emotional and physical response to God by a large group of believers at a leadership training week was being revered as an awesome working of God and my first response was disbelief. It was similar at my conference. Emotional responses and obvious outward expressions of these responses to God were encouraged. I wanted to join in, to show that God was moving in my heart too but I couldn’t. I was plagued with thoughts of people rolling on the ground laughing supposedly struck by the Holy Spirit and thoughts of others being manipulated to come to an altar to pray for salvation only to find out later that they had been mislead with half truths. But that was not what was going on here. I trusted these people and I desired to join them. My first response of doubt was wrong.

In the plane I pulled out a piece of paper and pen and started writing. I did not want to forget what I was struggling through. I wrote down my questions and thoughts: is it pride to question the public outward expression of repentance and be uncomfortable in those situations? What about France? It is such a godless place and I fully expect to see God move in a mighty way…what will that look like? Will I question what I see there too?

When I got home I told Tommy my thoughts and concerns. God is so good. He told me of his experience at the Worship God ’06 (http://worshipgodconference.com/) where he was confronted with the question, “why is your first response doubt?” Fortunately for him there was someone to present the case for God in a clear, logical, and Biblical way (http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=A2245-04-51). Our conclusion: if you trust the leadership in the situation then you should trust the response. I am excited with that conclusion. It brings freedom for me personally and excitement for the future.