Day 18

Spent the day with the church family being reminded of God's faithfulness through this past year. He has been good to bless us with this body. I am also thankful for Ziacam. No fun when the mommy is sick.

Day 17

We have been listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's new album re:creation all day. The first song, Do Everything, I linked to in an earlier blog. It has been such a blessing to me. It helps to remind me that there are no tasks in my day or words that I say that are meaningless. It helps to remind me of 1 Corinthians 10:31, that whatever I am doing it is to be done for the glory of God.

I'm not exactly sure how this all works but listening to that song and the others on the album that are along those same thoughts kept my mind focused. Keeping focused on Who I am serving helps to make work light and joyful. We cleaned house today and it was very pleasant, no it was even fun. The baby girls were taking a nap and the rest of us worked together on the same projects: scrubbing toilets, washing dishes, cleaning windows, and walls, vacuuming and sweeping. Side by side, singing and talking and sometimes even laughing. In the interest of full discloser there were some tears and reminders about attitudes and being thankful for what we have as opposed to mad at what we don't have BUT as a whole it was a joyful time. Praise the Lord!

God is transforming my heart and attitude little by little to see life more and more His way. Now, to remember when I start to freak out again!

Check out SCC new album. It is so good!

Day 16

Tonight two of the children disobeyed. After much weeping we (Tommy, the children and myself) had a conversation about the difference between worldly sorrow and godly sorrow. One leads to feeling terrible, the other leads to repentance. A little more conversation about repentance and they both confessed their wrongdoing and asked for forgiveness. I freely and joyfully gave it and before I finished the word one of them yells out, "look, that's a dog park."

My first reaction was to take back the forgiveness and go over everything again, because how could it be genuine? I wanted to make them understand and feel the weight and relief of sin and forgiveness. Then it hit me: they had felt the weight and the IMMEDIATE relief of forgiveness. The tears were over and the offense was no longer held against them. I stopped before I started. This is how God forgives. Completely. Immediately. Without demanding payment after repentance. Sin has already been paid for! True, there are still consequences to sin but the debt is paid. Why is it so difficult to remember this?

Lord, thank you so much for teaching me through your word (I am in Judges and the Israelites were constantly sinning and repenting and God still forgives) and through my children about your forgiveness!

Day 15

Success. Another day of the main thing being the main thing. Praise the Lord.

Day 14

Psalm 96:2 "Sing to the Lord, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day."

I have been surrounded to day with articles, blogs, songs, videos, even bumper stickers that encourage me to take every moment and every action captive. Redeem it for God's glory in order to tell of his salvation with my actions, attitude and life choices because whatever I do...matters.

We are going into a crazy time of year and I can feel the anxiousness creeping in again. Today was almost my first "fail". I got in the car this afternoon to leave for the rest of the evening and realized there had been no time in the word yet and little time or opportunity for it later. I had to decide to leave the anxiety causing "things" until tomorrow and spend my evening with the Lord even though the anxiety increased at first. This is precious quiet productive time but there is nothing else I could do that would be more productive then to seek the Lord.

I am always amazed at how often I have to counsel myself into right thinking and it is going to get more difficult over the next two months. Many, many deadlines and late nights. I could really use your prayers during this time. I want to "be" and not "do" and celebrate Christ's birth even though there is much that needs to be done. Lord, give me the discernment to know what is a true need.

Day 13

I read this blog today and it echoes the desire of my heart. My feelings sometimes betray the twisted ideas I have of what is important. The kids are still have colds and so they are very cranky. The part that makes me happy is that they don't have a lot of energy to trash the house and so the dishes have not piled up in a few days and the laundry is getting done in record time. The part that makes me sad is the feeling of guilt I get when I sit and do nothing but cuddle for a half an hour with my three youngest children.

1 Corinthians 10:31 "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

This is the cry of my heart!

Day 12

God is good. More small victories throughout the day. As I make the most important thing first it is more regular that I am able to see and chose what is more important in other areas. It is not easy but it is a little easier.

Praying that the kids heal quickly from this cold but thankful for the blessing in disguise: this forces us as a family to slow down a little, not "do" so much and there is more time at home to work but also to enjoy being together. I love this family God has blessed me with.